Finding Purpose Through Challenges
Our greatest challenges are our greatest teachers. Everyone is faced with hardships in life and how we navigate these situations determines who we become. Some of the greatest leaders are the ones that used the hardships they experienced in their lives to become someone better, someone greater, someone that people wanted to follow. At some point, all of these people came to a decision point around whether they were going to discover the lessons and the depth that life was asking of them during this time or succumb to the darkness and pain from their outside circumstances.
A great example of this is Oprah Winfrey who grew up in extreme poverty in rural Mississippi and faced a difficult childhood marked by abuse and neglect. Despite her hardships, Oprah excelled in school and won a scholarship to Tennessee State University. She began working in local media and eventually became the host of The Oprah Winfrey Show, which became one of the most successful talk shows in television history. Oprah is now a billionaire, media mogul, philanthropist, and cultural icon. She’s known not just for her success, but for using her platform to inspire and uplift others.
Howard Schultz is another example. He grew up in a low income housing complex in Brooklyn, New York. His father was a truck driver with no job security or health benefits. This unstable upbringing deeply shaped his values. Schultz worked his way through college, and after visiting Italy, he envisioned bringing European-style coffee culture to America. He transformed Starbucks from a small Seattle coffee shop into a global brand. As CEO, Schultz focused on employee benefits, helping pioneer better labor practices in corporate America while building one of the most recognized brands worldwide.
Both of these people took the hardships in their lives and used them to not only build success but to help others.
All of us are faced with similar challenges in our own lives when life presents us with unexpected problems that we would have never chosen for ourselves. Anything from job loss and divorce to death of a loved one can pull the rug from right under our feet in life. Those moments define who we are and we have the choice to become something greater.
With all the shifts going on in the world, I see more and more people coming to a point where they are facing unexpected hardships and they are not sure what to do and how to move forward. I recently created a coaching program to serve this need I saw in people to not only overcome challenges but use them to become better versions of themselves. So many people who are facing illness, divorce or the death of a loved one are still expected to perform at work. Without the right tools, this can feel impossible so I wanted to share some tips to help you on your own journey if you are struggling right now.
Set Goals
When you start out on a journey you didn’t want to be on, such as taking care of a loved one that is very sick, its important to be clear around how you want to be with the things you can actually control such as how you take care of yourself, how you want to show up for your loved one, and how you ask for support. Being clear on how you want to navigate the parts of the situation you can control will not only empower you but also help you create the support you need through a tough situation. What works for a lot of people is some regular cadence of self-care that they do no matter what and get support to do it. This can be anything from daily meditation and exercise to getting a massage once a week while someone else helps with the situation. By focusing on what you can control, you amplify the parts of your life that are in your power to change until things shift.
Go Deeper
When you have little control over your external environment, it forces you to look inward and go deeper within yourself to find a source of power and wisdom you may not have had to find before. The way you looked at life before might completely change once you experience something difficult and that’s ok. Each new phase of our lives asks us to examine and possibly change our underlying beliefs about ourselves and the world so accepting that and allowing it to happen will help you shape your beliefs in a way that serves what you want to create next in your life. Knowing that life can be hard and present challenges and trusting yourself to navigate them will bring you a greater sense of confidence than trying to avoid pain and hardship in your life. Find the lessons, appreciate the little things and be proud that you are showing up to life everyday.
Shift Pain into Meaning
Sometimes finding meaning occurs during a challenge, sometimes it occurs afterwards but even when we can’t control our circumstances we can control the meaning we assign to it. Some people believe that everything that occurs takes them where they need to be or that they wouldn’t have become the person they are without a difficult life experience. Whatever meaning you want to assign to the experience, letting yourself think outside of the narrow definitions of what is good or bad and expand your view to see how life shapes us can help bring about the possibilities of what we can learn from the situation.
Integrate your Learning
Once you have had time to process and to reflect, using your learning to upgrade your life and be the person you want to be in your next phase will help you integrate your experience and create your next chapter based on who you want to be. Putting awareness into embodying the new beliefs you have will help you make the behavioral changes you want in your life. The inner change might include making outer changes in your life including removing relationships, moving locations, creating new relationships or creating completely new routines in your life. Whatever the changes that are happening, pay attention to how you feel about them and make sure that they are serving your highest good.
Start your Next Chapter
After integration comes the beauty of starting something new based on who you have become. Nothing makes you appreciate the times when life is uneventful and seems boring than going through hard times. Appreciate the next chapter and all that it brings. As you start the new chapter, take the time to appreciate who you have become and how you have navigated something difficult. Life has its ups and downs so appreciate it when things are going great.
Challenging times in our life don’t need to be something that bring us down, they can be tremendous opportunities for growth. There is no great leader that I have worked with that hasn’t suffered their share of life’s setbacks. Using these times to discover your resilience and become a better version of yourself is what separates extraordinary leaders and people from everyone else.